Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

I'm really dissapointed and frustrated.

I seem to have a lot of trouble connecting with my 17 yo son. He doesn't seem to be interested in anything bar computer games, facewaste and his sport.

He's supposed to be getting his P plates in a few weeks and he has to be one of the most mechanically inept kids I have met and i have to say that causes me great sadness. He had a Victa engine he used to pull apart and re assemble when he was 5 and could name every component in it. Was all he could do to fit the barrel to the crankcase but he used to insist on doing it unaided. Now he couldn't tell you WTF was what on the thing.

I try to teach him things but after you drag him outside, he puts in a half hearted effort of standing around rather than showing any interest then makes an excuse to leave, generally he has to visit the outhouse, then you don't see him again. I cracked my nut the other week when he threw a hissy fit when I refused to help him change the blown down light in his bedroom and made him figure it out. Which he didn't before giving up and having a sulk.

I'm not unrealistic. I grew up with no one to show my jack, what I learnt I learnt all on my own the hard way. When the lawn mower stopped I figured out how to fix the thing or I cut the lawn with scissors because there was no money to pay someone. Same with tap washers, blown fuses, general home maintence and repairs and then fixing cars when I got one.

You did it yourself or you did without!

Even my son said to me the other week, " When I get a car, if it stops no matter how small a problem I'm going to be fked aren't I? " I said you sure are because there is no way in hell I'm going to be coming to fix things you should know how to do yourself.

He works at the Local KFC, Not the Infamous no bacon one but another a little further out and is having trouble with the manager whom admittedly would have trouble running a piss up in brewery.

He's bit of a metro and like spending money on clothes and shoes and is always complaining he isn't getting ahead saving up, mainly for the car he's buying off his grandfather.

He paid the old man a deposit on it the other week and the old fella told me not to worry, he'll look after him. He's already taken the thing off the lot and sold it to the young fella for a grand less than he was asking which is a damn cheap price.

I told my father not to give it to him or anymore than he already had. It's his first big purchase and I don't want him thinking things come easy like this or someone is going to hand him things on a silver platter. I want him to feel some pain and know he's earn't what he gets.

What I'm really upset about is something I was setting up for him that he has just blown off like a spoilt bitch.

This last week I saw an opportunity for a business and have been crunching the numbers on it and made some enquiries that have all been positive. I could set him up in this part time weekend business and he'd HAVE to make a minimum $1k a weekend for a day and a halfs work and I really think he'd pull closer to $2k on average.

It's a photography gig that would be dead simple, Shoot the players in a spot and print them for when they are done and sell them. He knows how to do this already. He's been doing the printing with me for the last 3 years and he's shot events like Equine world cups as well as all sorts of high end comps and has a good eye. This would be a piece of pi$$ for him but when I have approached him about it, all I get is the immediate sigh, disinterest and whining that " He isn't interested in Photography".

I have to admit that really ticks me off.

I'm not interested in cleaning dunnys either but if someone offered me a job that would really amount to no more than about 3 hours work, 2 days a week and paid me $1500+, I'd flucking trip over myself to get there, especially when I was working in some shitty hot grease pit for $10 an hour. Make no sense at all to me.

And that's what I say to him, " Are you interested in working in a greasy, hot chicken joint dealing with moron bosses and idiot customers? Is that something you enjoy?"

" If not, what the Fk is so bad about an easy clean job taking and printing pics???"

What also ticks me off is the opportunity in life he's wasting. At even a grand a week, 12 months in he could buy himself a unit, rent it out while he is living at home and own the thing by the time he's 21 and be on his 2nd investment property. By 25 he'd be set for life.

He's lazy but he does have an excellent work ethic. The spys from KFC head office are regularly sending his mismanager comments about him and some even " Break Cover" and compliment and commend him on how hard he works and what a good job he does. At home he's lazy as hell and when working with me, everything is done as fast and dodgy as possible so we can get back to looking at chit on his phone or some other brainless endeavour.

Those POS Iphoneys have a Fking lot to answer for in rotting the brains of a whole generation of otherwise intelligent kids.

I am frustrated he can't see the opportunity in this and the ignorant chit he goes on with just because it's dad suggesting it. Dad may be a moron but Dad left home at 12, school at 15 and OWNED his own home by 27 so he must know some bloody thing. Here he is at 17 and barely knows his arse from his elbow although often carries on like there isn't anything he doesn't now.

Even if saving for a house is a bit pie in the sky for him at this stage,( dunno why, my mate bought his first house at 18 and owned it by 23) he could earn a stack of money for clothes, going out, a better car or whatever the hell he wanted. I'd be pretty happy with that if he were running his own show and learning about life and money. This is a great opportunity and I'd do it myself if I didn't have bigger fish to fry but I might just see if I can find a couple of other kids with more brains than my son and do it anyway and have them run it and I'll just take whatever is left over.

I'll bet there would be plenty of kids out there willing to do it for $150 a day.

Anyway, just wanted to vent my frustration at my apparent failure as a parent. I'll try to put it out of my head now as its really disappointing and makes me angry as well.

I think most of all i'm just really bummed, dissapointed and sad.

Posted

Dont worry they they will warm up to life.

I actually worked at KFC as well, was great as a young feller to meet the womens :)

By 18 I was pissing up almost every cent or blowing it on cars and motorbikes.

Finally meet my wife to be at 23, got sick of the party lifestyle and then bought my first house at 25.

Im now 32 with a wife and child, my early days didnt set me back to much but god they were fun lol.

Posted

Yeah, I guess my growing up was somewhat A typical.

I had NO money till I was about 18 and then in my own business I made Shiploads. Still Lived at home with my grandmother, taking care of each other really, and I remember sometime in the early 80's her having a freak-out about the $4000 in cash in a glass jar in the cupboard besides the bed. She freaked a bit more when I asked her where the other 2 were that she hadn't even seen. They were the days, even back then I could still make a grand a day and I did on an average of more than once a week.

About the same time the business came real good I lost the motivation to spend money and have a good time so about the only thing I used to buy was camera's which I still had and was using till about 10 years ago when digital made them obselete.

Still cheesed off about this thing with my son though. Tried talking to the wife about it and as usual, our little cherubs can do no wrong and the sun shines eternally out of their neither regions in her eyes. I was told " He doesn't want to do it" and she was insistent that was all the reasoning needed to blow it off.

Of course I replied " Oh! I didn't realise that working in the grease pit was something he DID want to do so bad. He're's stupid me thinking he mainly did it for the money, how naive I am!" I also asked " Does he want to get the money to finish paying off the car he has bought and be able to register, insure and put fuel in the thing because if he does, he might want to have a think about what is required to finance that at $10 an hour Vs $1000+ a weekend."

I also said that I had no idea she loved going to work so much especially given the daily complaints she comes home with about it.

Of course as all us guys know, the WORST thing you can ever do when " Discussing" anything with the Mrs is to make a Logical, sensible point they can't refute. When it comes to her indoors, Winning an argument is Loosing it in ways that extend waaaaay beyond the argument itself.

I'll keep that one though as the next time she ask's me to do anything, I won't want to do it ( and honestly, I never do so that's not a lie!) and that should be all the reasoning I need not to.

I hope to hell the young fella never decides he doesn't want to breathe any more if that's the sole reasoning behind doing things.

I don't know what it is, I just seem to have a sense of doing what's needed and what will get you ahead rather than what you like as being a priority.

To me the only question is if the work is bearable to you, not whether it's appealing. On that score I'd say the majority of people are the same, nothing is going to be more appealing that sitting on your arse in a comfy chair. Unfortunately well paid jobs doing that are bloody hard to find. Never seen or heard of one being advertised yet!

Maybe I'll keep it on the back burner for a month or so and see if reality might set in when he has the car and figures out there isn't enough free hours to earn enough @ $10 keep that afloat.

You read so much about being a good parent and paying attention to your kids, helping them, knowing where they are etc but Fk me I find it hard to do. I can try to tell my kids something for weeks can get blown off with pure contempt. If I have a bitch to my mate about it and he says something to them, it's like a revelation and they trip over themselves to get it done!

I guess you can only try to be a good parent and do the right thing, unfortunately I find myself questioning whether I'm doing a remotely decent job almost on a daily basis.

Posted

I'm wondering if it's me o these kids are a lost cause.

The young fella expressed resistance about running the business himself and pointed out his HSC next year and a couple of other semi plausible objections.

He's also been bitching about not having enough hours at the grease pit and not having enough money for his car.

I decided to set up another enterprise I have had on the back burner for a while and asked him about helping me with that. Would be weekend nights only most likley and we have done this same thing before for charity balls, Corporate functions etc. He knows it better than I do and it's a cake walk that pays freaking well. I realised I have a Huge advantage in the market and a friend who is a web designer genius on sites that work not just look pretty has offered to do the site for me in return for a couple of small favours I have done for him.

I spoke to the young bloke about it and got slightly less resistance and a few Demands I was happy to meet because I wanted to set things up the same way anyhow.

The thing was, I offered him $150 an hour or $600 a night and he was still umming and ahhing. Essentially I would run round taking pics at parties and functions and he would sit and print them. No doubt with a drink and then food. I have the program set up so basicaly he looks at the pics taken, 2-3 of every couple/group, select the best one and the thing spits out the printers.

Lay the pics on a table and you're done.

I couldn't believe that he would even hesitate at the chance to earn $150 an hour sitting on his arse.

So thinking I might teach him a lesson, This morning I hit my daughter up about helping me. She also works in the grease pit for about $6 odd an hour being younger. She's pretty good with a camera and a computer but does not have the self confidence with it my son does even though she often thinks outside the box a hell of a lot better and is a lot smarter when it comes to problem solving.

So I offer her the same deal, $150 an hour, max 600 a night.

Again, resistance!!

Excuses about not knowing what to do and other rubbish that we all know just plain isn't true.

I explained that we could practice at home and the software was all pre programmed and then she arguing how that would take time to get it right and she didn't want to sit at a computer learning things. I explained that it would probably take less than an hour to learn and we could do 15 min or less of practice every day to make she she had it memorised and I would right her a list of procedures anyway.

Still, when I said can I rely on you to do this with me, it can be our partnership, I got the umms and excuses.

I can't get my head around why I'm not getting knocked over in the rush to do this. I'm sure there are plenty of people around that would be fking glad to earn that sort of money for such easy, clean work.

I said to my wife, "Am I a complete bastard to work with or is there something else about me that's putting them off?" She said I was fussy and liked things to be perfect for the customers but I wasn't hard to work with if her or the kids were doing their job. I said what does that mean? She said nothing, you just don't like them not paying attention to what they are doing. No argument there!

I don't want to give the kids handouts but if this isn't the next best thing, I don't know what is and if they are too stupid or lazy to see the opportunity, then bugger them. I'll hire some little model Bimbo to work with me and pay them $150 a night and put the rest in my own pocket if the kids are too lazy to line theirs.

They got plenty when they were younger but for the last 5 years or so due to me being crook, things have been tight and I thought they missed out on a lot. Clearly they didn't miss out on nearly enough and have still been far too spoiled. Being tight on money hasn't taught them a thing even in comparison to this year where other things have kicked in and we have had plenty to indulge ourselves with.

If my young fella thinks that he's going to get a handout for his car after knocking back opportunities to earn 10+ times what he's really worth, Then I'm afraid he's going to endure his first car crash with me in discovering how wrong his assumptions are.

I'm just astounded how offering kids $150 an hour these days isn't enough to get them off their butts.

Is it just mine and I have failed them as a parent or is this sort of attitude a common thing these days?

Posted

Hell mate.. Your throwing some dam good offers there way. Not like it's every weekend is it?

My first job was in a local engineering firm, a couple of hrs a week around school for $6.50/ hr.. And the security use to slip in a few more bucks as she said I was running rings around the other blokes.

Yr 11-12 I was doing my apprenticeship after completing a cert 2 in agriculture threw yr9-10 at school..

But being a country boy and living on the farm I've grown up with the 'work hard to anywhere' mentality. But compared to my city friend who are still bumming of there parents at 25yrs old and only work part time, free rent and are still crying poor... Got me beat..

I thought my city friend to drive on the farm, I had it down pat due to driving from when I could reach the peddles with grandpa, but unfortunately I moved out at 18 I didn't teach him heap of mechanical stuff..

The other day he rings me up asking how much oil his Holden Ss ute should take?? I said about 5-6 ltrs, check the manual..

Really he says, I'm up to 20 ltrs and I still can't see it..

WHAT!!!! Is it on the floor???

No..

Where are you looking for it..'

In the top were you poor the oil...

(face in palm) you dickhead, remember the dipstick I told you about... ...

You get the drift... Anyway, all you can do is try, of they don't want to take it on there is nothing you can do but let them learn themselves.. They'll be interested in what you have to offer one day..

Posted

The other day he rings me up asking how much oil his Holden Ss ute should take?? I said about 5-6 ltrs, check the manual..

Really he says, I'm up to 20 ltrs and I still can't see it..

WHAT!!!! Is it on the floor???

No..

Where are you looking for it..'

In the top were you poor the oil...

(face in palm) you dickhead, remember the dipstick I told you about... ...

Thanks for the encouragement westy.

I have known people like this. While amusing as an anecdote, It's also pretty damn frightening.

I'm a bit worried my fella is going to be a bit like this. I can't seem to teach or encourage him to learn anything hands on.

My Mrs used to be friends with a bird who had the most useless husband I had ever met. Apparently a brilliant accountant that I'm sure earns 20 times what I ever will but totally useless at anything else.

He used to say that he earned more than tradesmen so it was cheaper for him to pay someone than do it himself.

That idea fell down pretty quick when he got married and moved out of home and found that tradies didn't come as soon as you wanted them nor would they give you a time and sometimes you had to stay home all day and they still didn't come. Having a tap washer changed ended up costing him a LOT more than he bargained for.

Once that realisation sank in he was very keen for me to show him things and so was his Mrs.

I'm hoping that once I get this up and running perhaps the first time out getting a bunch of cash may change his mind.

He came home from the grease pit tonight pretty pi$$ed off. If 10% of what he tells me about the manager is true and going by the fkups I know the guy makes, it more like 90%, I can't see my son lasting there much longer.

Tonight he and another kid he works with were told by this clown that although they do the work faster and more thoroughly than anyone else, he doesn't want them working together any more because they talk while they are working. They work out the back mind you where the clients can't see or hear them. My son admits they talk but he also says that none of the other kids know what they are doing so when he works with the others, things take twice as long even though they don't talk at all.

If I had a couple of guys that did a job better than anyone else, I wouldn't care if they sang show tunes while they worked. I think this guy is just determined to play king chit and find fault with anything they do.

No wonder these businesses can't keep decent staff.

Anyway, maybe the idiot is really doing me and the boy a favour. Still can't figure out how he could get through all the company training these place give managers and still be so inept at people skills and basic management.

If the young fella gets needy and does it with me once and gets hold of the cash, maybe the attitude will take a turn around.

Posted (edited)

I know how he feels, bosses on power trips. I was told I wasn't allowed back to a site by this one supervisor after my first week due to getting a chronic ear infection. Nothing else, no written complaint, just this one bloke on a power trip, nearly cost me my house. Thankfully he quit and I can go back now...

It's not fun. But hopefully your son takes the opportunity and runs with it..

Edited by BigGQWesty

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...