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For westy and any other Fathers to be.


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Just came across this westy and thought of you mate.

I'm not sure how helpful it is as it appears to be written by a woman and you have to take every thing on the net with a grain of salt anyway.

Some of what they say no too looks perfectly OK to me and I can't see the problem but maybe it's a politically correct thing or something. Might be OK to print out and put in the babys room or something.

Anyway, hope it helps.


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Makes me remember when my Kids were babies.

There was the great shit explosion incident when my son was about 9 months old.

Had him in the change table all cleaned and prepped for a fresh Nappie and lifted him by the ankles to slide the new one under him and he exploded.... Literally.

I was covered in shit, the walls were covered in shit, The cat had shit on it, the new carpet... It was a mess of unholy proportions.

Little did I know that my wife had got up and seeing me looking after the kid, was standing in the doorway watching to make sure I didn't have any problems. By this time her legs have given out and she's slid down the wall almost incapable of breathing from laughter.

She said the funniest thing was The way after he fired, I just stood there motionless and didn't utter a word. She said she could hear me thinking, " WTF do I do now.?"

I just picked the young fella up, cuddled him to my shit covered chest and got in the shower fully clothed.

Of Course the mrs found that hilarious as well.

I washed him off then handed him over for the mrs to dry and dress. Got out of my wet clothes in the shower, scrubbed the shit bits off my face till I near had a rash and got dressed and then spent an hour cleaning the room.

Achievement of the ordeal was not Vomiting at any stage even though I gagged several times

That is still my wifes favourite baby story..

There was also the time when My mate wanted to take me and the boy out to dinner when my wife had gone out.

A mate of his had opened a very upmarket restaurant in the elite area of Double Bay and was happy to provide some free meals to his friends to get people in the place and make it look busy.

So we bundled the kid in the car ( that my single mate had already had baby seat anchorage points fitted to in preparation for such occasions) and off we went. Being a chef, said mate was keen to introduce the little one to different taste experiences. He got smoked salmon and Caviar, Pate', Duck, steak, fish,.... you name it, from the tasting plate ordered for the baby.

Amazingly the little bloke didn't knock back anything and seemed to enjoy himself.

All was fine till the next day when the wife got up in the morning and went off her nut at what was in his nappy. You really could have bottled it and used it as a chemical weapon. Even my mate and his girlfriend copped a huge serve over that one.

The first time I minded both Kids on my own was also seen as a Typical moment for me. When My wife arrived home the next morning with the friends she went out with, I was up the back yard entertaining the kids.

I constructed a merry go round on the clothes line using the kids swing seats, the petrol powered leaf blower and a bucket of concrete for balast.

I simply put the seats opposite each other on the clothes line, the blower on another corner and the concrete opposite. I cable tied the throttle on the blower, gave the clothes line a spin and off they went. Started off slow but after a couple of minutes the thing was going round at a good clip.

Took a good hour for the blower to run out of fuel but the kids wouldn't get off and wanted more.

I failed to see what was so incredibly funny about this as our friends did. The kids were happy and where I knew where they were, I could get on with what I wanted to do up the yard and it didn't cost anything to build.

The kids got a lot of fun out of that till they got too big and the clothes line started to give way. :)

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Ah kids god luv em.

Took mine for a relaxing fish this morning.

Daughter 2 casts - tangled got shitty - off to playground.

Son 5 casts hasnt caught anything - bored off to playground.

Dad 7 casts bites on every cast and bream on the last.

Kids say that's not fair we wanna go home.

School holidays are fun aren't they........

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I left home at 12. Legal age where the kids have a say is 13.

My son tried that Chit on one time when he was about 15. Felt all hard done by for being asked to do literally 5 min of chores every day ( feed the dogs) and got all pissy and said he was going to go somewhere else to live and home sucked etc.

Wasn't expecting the calm rational response he got of me saying really, you are that unhappy here mate? I'm sorry I didn't know. I moved out of home when I was much younger than you because I was unhappy at home too and I wouldn't wish that on anyone I know what that feels like thats why I got everything I could carry and got on a bus and got out.

You pack whatever you want and when you are done let me know where you want to go and I'll give you a lift. I wouldn't want you to be unhappy where you live cause thats something that haunts you forever and I don't want that to play on your mind like it has mine all my life.

Son just looks at my wife who says, You better be fair dinkum because if it's a stunt, you sure pulled the wrong one to try on your father because you now he left home when he was a lot younger than you.

Suffice to say I NEVER heard that one ever again.

Like a kind and caring father, I made sure I got plenty of Mileage out of it though for a few months afterwards whenever he had a whinge about something. :D

Fact is, it seems harder to get rid of them now. so many don't leave home at all.

They have wised up to what a good thing mum and dad provide after all.

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I remember when my daughter was about twelve months old and getting her out of bed one morning when we were in our on site van for a weekend. Picked her up and thought, that smell is gross and found she had all but filled her jump suite legs with shite. :(


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  • 3 weeks later...

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